Lavender 3
1.The Fiction's All I Got (Sometimes)
Sometimes I just can’t stop my mind
Sometimes the quiet's hard to find
Sometimes the sun feels far and faint
Sometimes I’m staying way too late
I read in a children’s book
they’re gonna find us another Earth
crack the night with a rocket’s tail
our cares burn on a new star trail
or I could take that correspondence course
get a job near my mom up north
I know it’s not in my plot
but the fiction’s all I got
Sometimes I’m pouring for myself
Sometimes the drink is not to health
Sometimes I orbit words you said
Sometimes I’m spinning in my bed
I read in a children’s book
they’re gonna find us another Earth
crack the night with a rocket’s tail
our cares burn on a new star trail
or I could take that correspondence course
get a job near my mom up north
I know it’s not in my plot
but the fiction’s all I got sometimes
2. Gracefully
I’m in your bed
with your shoulders turned to me
the moonlight pours out
milk white waves of sheets
it’s so quiet
I could lie here and watch you breathe
but I’m decided
I know exactly what to gather when I leave
my feet are bare
and the cold air gives me chills
I skim the floor
with my hands to find my shoes
I’ll leave a post-it
with your wife’s blue bedside pen
anticlimactic
but I can’t chance that you’ll pull me back again
let me exit gracefully
I’m on the road
when the sun ignites the leaves
I find a diner
and order a cup of tea
I’ve got an atlas
left my iPhone by your bed
so you can’t track this
the Pacific waves will wash you from my head
an old couple
sipping to my right
they ask me if
I’ve driven through the night
the only waitress
scrubs dishes with a wedding ring
I know it’s baseless
but I imagine when she’s here alone she sings
and she does it gracefully
I don’t think you’re a jerk
but what we’re doing doesn’t work
let me close the door gracefully
3. The Simple Thing Is Nothing
we went to have a picnic
you stuffed me in a lunchbox
I offered you a house key
you snapped me with a padlock
I asked you from the corner
“can we be more friendly?”
you came at me with a broomstick
it’s important to be cleanly
I’ve never been breezy
so why would this be easy?
the simple thing is nothing
I want a complicated something
we’re driving out to dinner
but we’re keeping it a secret
wouldn’t want nobody talking
a celebrity’s a target
so would you like some wine, dear?
it’s perfect with your entree
thought we were a pleasant pairing
but you wanna ala carte me
I’ve never been breezy
so why would this be easy?
the simple thing is nothing
I want a complicated something
you were at least a friend
but you show me how I’m wrong
so quick to threaten ends
your silences too long
you never gave me any weight
a shrug and then you’re done
hope you had some fun
I’ve never been breezy
so why would this be easy?
the simple thing is nothing
I want a complicated something
4. You Were My Dream
dinner together
a malbec cork popping
when you said we could kiss
I couldn't keep my fork from dropping
with a smile and a wink
you said you'd let me think
parked near the park
where you would feed the homeless (righteous!)
light poles glowing gold
we had finished both our kombuchas
you peed in the trees
it was always "yes, please"
promise me you'll remember
that you were my dream
a ray of light on a silver screen
we lean in so close
I just hope I don't choke
our lips came apart
you smiled and said "not bad" (not bad!)
I asked if we could kiss again
you murmured "yes" and then we had
I bent the rules
I gave your hair a little pull
but you were my dream
a ray of light on a silver screen
we lean in so close
beyond all my hopes
you were the star
a little scene inside my car
you open your arms
won't do any harm
sometimes the plot
that a night brought
don't match the fantasy
but now that we've leapt into the reel
here's how I feel
you are my dream
a ray of light on a silver screen
we lean in so close
beyond all my hopes
you are my star
a little scene inside my car
so tender so bold
you make everything gold
you are my dream
a ray of light on a silver screen
we lean in so close
I just hope I don't choke
you are my star
a little scene inside my car
you open your arms
won't do any harm
5. I'm So Yours
like a summer sunrise
you warm me again
I could swear I knew you
before we began
and the tender taming
the orbits, the dance
how we fell together
like feathers, at last
baby I'm so yours
I'm so yours
as a waterfall
brings beauty through might
that we couldn't stop this
don't make it less right
sometimes it's scary
this water runs deep
but your gaze is steady
we're swimming for keeps
baby I'm so yours
I'm so yours
our naked skin
on the uneven ground
you bite your lip
oh please don't keep it down
as we twist and tangle
underneath the stars
baby I'm so yours
I'm so yours
6. Imagination / Misunderstanding
our green love
was wracked by vines
but healthy trees
don't go splitting overnight
in the dark
a flashlight shone
we found a mirror
and a gavel in our home
imagination
misunderstanding
misunderstanding
imagination
in the sun
I couldn't see
a spring of flowers
made the house look bright to me
we signed the deed
we stripped the floors
kept rearranging
'til our bed went out the door
imagination
misunderstanding
misunderstanding
imagination
you would say
I was your dream
how disappointing
that your visions weren't me
7. It's Just Real
I loved you because
you laugh like a breeze
our hands pull the grass
the sun made us sneeze
we rolled down a hill
the maples so tall
you know how it goes
the harder they fall
our eyes star in pain
you're not inhumane
to change how you feel
it's just real
I loved you because
you ushered a thaw
the redbuds return
blooms bursting in awe
but touched by a fear
you called down a frost
the crocuses died
the birdsong was lost
our eyes star in pain
you're not inhumane
to change how you feel
it's just real
it's just real
our eyes star in pain
you're not inhumane
to change how you feel
it's just real
8. Secret Muse
our bright star
kicks my x-wing fighter into hyper drive
but lately my Leia's been actin' cold
like she's trying to ignore a besotted Solo
an August breeze can bring notes to me
but when lights hit her I feel symphonies
and if she ever sees then it's curtains, crew
so I gotta keep playin' like she's not my
secret muse
it's good you came to me
discreet is what I'll be
I see him as a friend
how am I here again?
being backstage near a glowing you
it's like I'm a gorilla at the city zoo
I'm swingin' from a vine just to catch your eye
you feed me a banana then walk on by
but maybe I'm a bit of a masochist
such a pleasant pain, how I live for this
I'm dreamin' of a kiss and you're the one I choose
at seven you're his
just be my secret muse
I like your honesty
you've penned such lines for me
I see you as a friend
how am I here again?
this happens to the guys
I let into my life
I trust you easily
that's a big deal to me
I couldn't buy a ticket
as consolation
when she's the only star
in my constellation
and now the paparazzi
have me cornered on the tube
I can't contain the news
she's my secret muse
his plays are waking dreams
but he just made a scene
I swear he's just a friend
how am I here again?
this happens to the guys
I let into my life
he fell so easily
it's just unreal to me
each fanboy's fantasy
hits my reality
I swear he's just a friend
when will this story end?
this happens to the guys
I let into my life
they fall so easily
it's just unreal to me
9. Business Shirt
I wear a business shirt
you don't like my business shirt
so I don't like the business shirt
that I wear every day
you drive a midsize car
I drive a midsize car
but you won't drive your midsize car
over here, no way
you shouldn't think that I don't love myself
I'm OK with mirror me
but even now I start to weigh myself
'cuz yourself ain't lovin' me
you fight for righteous things
I believe in righteous things
but I don't fight for righteous things
what's up with that?
I am an honest man
yeah I know I'm an honest man
and the reward to an honest man
is more of the same
you shouldn't think that I don't love myself
I'm OK with mirror me
but even now I start to weigh myself
'cuz yourself ain't lovin' me
10. Daphne
Daphne
have you seen Clarence?
I stole his water gun
he should hide by his parents
I'm gonna pelt him with balloons
cuz he got us both this afternoon
Daphne
since the day of our sloshing
as the crew and I ride our bikes
it's you that I'm watching
alone there by the trees
digging up rocks and sifting leaves
Daphne
can I make you chase for me
like I chase for you?
can I make you chase for me
like I chase for you?
Daphne
Clarence is laughing
somehow he finds it funny that
you hide when I'm passing
at the first sight of my face
you run up the steps into your place
Daphne
I'll be scraped up tomorrow
I'm gonna climb to your window
through blooms of laurels
you're hidden in the green
but I see your face behind the screen
Daphne
can I make you chase for me
like I chase for you?
Daphne
I never lose at any game
that I deign to play
but now I'm harpooned to your tide
I'm getting washed away
Daphne
can I make you chase for me
like I chase for you?
Daphne
11. You Turn My Breath To Steam
walking in a snowfall
to get us food
the icy night delights me
'cuz I'll come back to you
the scene swirls in my mind
like a fine red wine
your body had such heat
as we tangled up our feet
my life gets so blurry
like snow in a flurry
but you turn my breath to steam
as we pinch our eyes shut
the sun will burst
icicles will trickle
we'll wake to thirst
there's no way to keep it pure
we'll smudge and scuff
but through the winter we'll endure
we've heat enough for tea
my life gets so blurry
like snow in a flurry
but you turn my breath to steam
we may be fleeting as frost
but every step we take gets embossed
even love that drifts and fades can't be lost
my life gets so blurry
like snow in a flurry
but you turn my breath to steam
12. Let's Play
DO RE ME FA SO LA TI DO
I'm gonna make you sore tomorrow
I'm still up for one more
"X" on triple letter score
TEXTUALITY
do you wanna challenge me?
when I wrote it top-down
you made all the vowel sounds
we're out of tiles
and I can't stay
so let's play
hidden behind book store windows
neon says come back tomorrow
they can't see us in the stacks
they're like fishes in a tank
red plush chair
let's get totally Neruda, dear
in the dark you're all mine
fan your pages touch your spine
it's almost dawn
and I can't stay
so let's play